THE JOYS OF SPRING by Bill Peddie
(Sorry, you cant expect me to be serious all the time!!)
O God, don’t say that Spring is here!
The very word can trigger fear
The effing weeds all start to grow
The sodding lawn now needs a mow
The mower will refuse to start
…and the shop won’t stock the part
And anyway… the sweet spring showers
Seem now set in for many hours.
I know Lord, Spring is really sprung
The bugs do bite and cows poop dung
The happy lambs all jump and bleat
Little do they know they’re meat
The noisy birds sing in the fern
My sneaky cat just waits his turn
Now excuse me while I wipe my shoe
For Spring epitomizes pooh.
The rain, it wets both wise and dumb
But surely both deserve more Sun
Yes, lilies in the field look great
But all my slugs just scorn the bait
Green fly infest now every bud
And rose’s thorn has just drawn blood
Canker, borer, rot I see.
Bloody Spring…Oh woe is me.