SLIPPAGE IN MY FRONTAGE?
WELL, GOODNESS, GRACIOUS ME by Bill Peddie (the Elder)
“Er, doctor I have troubles”,
He smiled, “you’re telling me!
Your file is getting really thick
And I wont work for free.”
“Well Doc, I think I need to know –
Have I got long to live?”
“Well that depends on worn out parts.
Something’s sure to give.
I guess there was a time”, he said
“When you were young and fit.
But face it man, you’ve now become
A worn clapped out old git.
Falling arches, drooping drawers,
You are a sight to see.
Your tummy now has gone to pot,
Leg aches… ’tis housemaid’s knee.
Your teeth are loose, and breath is short,
Your heart is almost beat.
And underneath that aching frame
Are really smelly feet
Your hearing aid doth whistle
What ain’t dried up now leaks
And I see that you’ve been shaving
From the nicks upon your cheeks
Your hair is thin, a double chin,
Your vision’s gone to fog.
And if I can be very frank –
You scratch like my old dog.
But cheer up man – keep smiling
Don’t complain or curse.
Remember in a week or two
You’re bound to feel worse
So when nurse plumps your pillow, or plumps you on the pan, remember there’s an off switch, so dodder while you can